"Even Cowgirls Get the Blues"
                             A film review by
                           Linda Lopez McAlister
                           on "The Women's Show"
                         WMNF-FM (88.5), Tampa, FL
                               May 21, 1994

   The first clue that there's something really different about the movie
"Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" is the newspaper ads. They don't blare quotes
from Gene Shallit or Siskel and Ebert or some big city paper, they quote,
instead, lesbian feminist film theorist B. Ruby Rich. She says, by the way,
"The hippest, most astounding and enjoyable, yes, the most utterly outrageous
time-capsule of a hybrid western you're even likely to see on the screen."
Actually it's very probably the ONLY such time-capsule of a hybrid western
you'll ever see.  It was written and directed by Gus Van Sant, Jr. ("Drug Store
 Cowboy," "My Own Private Idaho") based on Tom Robbins's 1976 novel that I
have never read, so I was totally unprepared for what to expect here. I think
that might be good because what you need to be able to do with this film is
just mellow out and go with it's fantastically goofy flow, and some golden
movie moments will come to you amid quite a bit of dross.

   I swore I'd try to write this review without ever using the word
"psychedelic" but I may have to give up on that. It's a '70s, mystical,
magical hallucinogen-touched road picture that follows the adventures of Sissy
Hankshaw (Uma Thurman) from her childhood filled with parental consternation
over her deformity (preternaturally large thumbs), through her development, in
Candide-like innocence, into world's most naturally gifted hitchhiker, and her
encounters with a series of odd characters until she meets up with the
cowgirls at the Rubber Rose Ranch. This is a "health and beauty spa" owned by
her mentor (played by John Hurt in his Quentin Crisp mode) who started
life as a Mississippi Queen but ended up a New York faux-Russian Countess who
has parlayed his misogynistic feelings of revulsion to the scent of a woman
into a feminine hygiene empire selling douche bags and deodorant products.

  Once at the Rubber Rose to film a commercial in which she imitates the 
actions of peyote-pecking whooping cranes, Sissy finds herself drawn to the 
merry band of radical lesbian feminist cowgirls who work there, especially 
Bonanza Jellybean (played by Rain Phoenix).  They soon revolt against The 
Countess and his money-grubbing exploitation of women and stage an attack on 
the lodge, using as their weapons the thing the Countess hates most. What an 
amazing screen image!

    You're either going to sit there and allow yourself to be amazed and
delighted by all this looniness, or you're going to hate it. I found myself
with a smile permanently on my face which sometimes changed to laughter
and sheer incredulity. There are lots of big names (Roseanne Arnold, Keanu
Reeves, Sean Young, Carol Kane, Angie Dickinson, Buck Henry) in cameo roles,
Pat Morita shows up as the guru on the Mountain, Tom Robbins himself does the
voice-over narration, and k.d. lang co-wrote the score and sings over the
titles at the beginning and end. Among the dozen or more songs she has written
for the film is one I particlarly like, "The Don't Be A Lemming Polka."
What I wish is that k.d. would have once again stepped in front of the
cameras to play one of the cowgirls, say the bull-whip wielding peyote
visionary Delores Del Ruby, a role that Lorraine Bracco never quite seems to
get comfortable with, though I don't know if k.d. would have had any better
luck with it; you do get the feeling from time to time that the actors are
having a hard time keeping a straight face while speaking the more mystical of
their lines. On the other hand, one of the points of "Even Cowgirls Get the
Blues" is, I take it, is that even serious revolutionaries mustn't take
themselves too seriously and we'll overcome the patriarchy not by trying to
beat them at their own game but by keeping them guessing and off balance as we
remain true to our own visions. Bonanza Jellybean's epitaph is, "Ha Ha, Hoo
Hoo, Hee Hee." That about sums it up.

   For the WMNF Women's Show this has been Linda Lopez McAlister on Women and
Film.

   Copyright 1994 by Linda Lopez McAlister. All rights reserved. Please do not
reprint this review without the permission of the author.